My goal has been to become a "runner."  I mean, I guess I am since I run.  I just don't feel like a "runner" though.  I haven't done a 5K.  I haven't done any racing, for that matter.  What began as a way to lose weight has now become this competition I have with myself.  I've been running for some months now, and while I feel stronger and like I can endure more, I still haven't broken any land speed records.  I haven't even entered a fun run!  I've been having some difficulty increasing mileage due to this record breaking heat this summer.  I find that I am able to run longer and harder outside at the park in my neighborhood.  This heat, however, has forced me into the gym and onto the treadmill.  My fancy new running shoes aren't so new anymore and aren't offering the support and magic they did before.  The devil shin splints are back.  They are healing much quicker than they used to, so that's a plus.  So, on to my frustration of today.  I was extra motivated today for some reason.  I was running longer and faster and was doing just fine.  I started to feel a pain in my right knee, but what else is new?  That knee is a total bastard.  From the time I twisted it on that stupid Pauls Valley track while jumping into my hyper extended toe touch, through the shock of learning I had broken a piece of the kneecap off, to training it to be strong despite edging near 30 - that damned knee has given me fits.  So I thought I would run through the dull ache.  Yeah.  Until I felt this surge of pain that almost knocked me off of the treadmill.  Totally embarassing.  Luckily, passersby gave me a looks as if to say, "ah, runner's knee.  good luck with that."  So, now I'm ridiculously frustrated that during the week that I've been more motivated and strong than any previous week, I get runner's knee on top of my expected shin splints.  Really?  I had planned a good weight training session along with a run tomorrow.  Stupid injury.  I really want to reach new heights in this running game.  I don't want to be a racer, I just want to feel good about my own mileage, speed, and strength.  I want the lean muscle mass that comes with being a runner.  I want the healthy body that will prepare me for child birth (should God bless us with a child or children).  I want the energy that comes with good health.  Damn this knee!!!